Wednesday, August 26, 2009

40ish now!

Thank you to everyone for all the birthday wishes and donations to my cause! I love you all! Thank you for all the tireless support and things you all do. Every little note lifts my spirits, thank you!

I had a nice relaxing day with just a small gathering of family, good dinner, popped a cork and sat around a nice fire for the evening in great weather. Simple good times with people I love and watching my kids play means so much to me.

So glad Bob and I went out for that "fancy" dinner months ago when we could celebrate looking and feeling great, was not just having a "good day". We rely on that memory to cheer us up occasionally, but I am surprised by all the additional memories and good times even now on "bad days" with those I love. Being sick doesn't have to be lonely and depressing. Surrounding myself by those I love and reaching out openly with what we're going through was scary at first, but it has made a difference. Understanding the commitments everyone around me make repeatedly. It all makes the journey a winning one! I will heal, I will get to be "myself" again one day, for now, thank you for your patience, your tolerance, your love.

I received so many meaningful gifts of time, love and thoughtfulness! Thank you to all. Especially some important ones that make my experiences (chemotherapy symptoms) more palatable!! Turning 40 was fairly painless! I've had worse! Ha!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Lucky #9

Just celebrated my oldest son's 9th birthday yesterday. Had a great time taking him out for a special fun day and then celebrating at home with our best friends with dinner and cake. It was nice to have some energy for making his day special...just the simple things like cleaning up the house, wrapping presents, baking a cake. Energy we all take for granted, I was blessed with the energy to get through a special day with my son.

Today was also my 9th treatment day. Blood counts were done and I keep dropping all the numbers that mean I'm weakening under the load of chemotherapy. Will power alone won't bring up the numbers so I'm getting some new treatments to help. I received a shot today after my chemotherapy that should help raise my hemoglobin (red blood cell stuff). If my numbers don't climb between now and next treatment, I may need a blood transfusion to help. I hadn't noticed, but the symptoms for my red blood cell troubles were fatigue and pain in my legs (like the pain you feel when you've climbed alot of stairs). I had some energy to do things, however, my muscles felt the strain and pain of a good workout over even the smallest tasks.

I have my bigger chemotherapy day next week which usually makes me pretty sick for about a week or so. My birthday falls after that...yes...the BIG 40. So....
We have a canoe trip planned for this weekend. This is my celebration, my fight that I'm still alive and can do things I love. I will be out on the water with my family enjoying the stillness of life and the beauty of the river. I look forward to it, it will be a good day. A blessed day.
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